New topic – new week – and I killed a man!!!
Nope…
A friend of mine told me I needed to take more risks. I need to just go out and do something crazy with no reflection on the outcome of the situation.
Do you know what I said in return?
“Unlike you, I have aspirations.”
He’s a great guy but I don’t want to get arrested. I mean… what if I do something illegal and then get arrested. That goes on my permanent record and then it would be impossible for me to find a job.
But jobs aside, why don’t I take risks? Why don’t I just get up one morning and go to the beach? Or go see a movie at midnight by myself? Or sneak into Bush Gardens (a friend of mine did that)?
I would like to blame the men in my life.
I’ve had so many bad experiences with men who love to manipulate women. Men who say they will do something then don’t.
Being in love is a huge risk, a leap of faith. But what do you have faith in? Nothing, it’s so nebulous. I have a group of friends who have a hard time finding true love. They might date, or they might not, but they are looking (not very diligently) for a soul mate or one true love.
They think I’m the expert in love and relationships because… well, I don’t really know why.
Maybe it’s because I read a lot of books and boys don’t usually scare me. (Unless, of course, they have “douche” written all over them… then I stay far far away.)
Honestly, I think I will talk about love this week.
What to look for?
What not to look for?
What does looking entail exactly?
Why do we have such high expectations?
Why is it so hard for girls in their early 20’s, who didn’t really date in high school or college because they were focusing on their studies, to get a simple date?
All of these questions will not be answered in the least, but I will talk about my experiences with all of these…
I hope you enjoy the next week, and please comment… I love comments!!!
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To quote Kurt Vonnegut "Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous"
ReplyDeleteThat being said, let me address some of what you said.
First of all, you do need to take risks. Life is about taking risks. That doesnt mean doing anything illegal but it means stepping out of your comfort zone. If you let fear stop you, you'll never be able to accomplish anything, and that applies to any area in your life, be it a career or relationship.
You say you dont trust men, but you have to realize that women are every bit just as manipulative and deceptive. You just gotta do the grind until you happen to find the right person.
As far as women in their 20s not being able to get a date, I think thats bullshit. Either they're ugly or their standards are too high.
Hell, its harder for a guy to "date" a girl, because half the time the female knows she can use him for free food or a movie or whatever, with no intention to take the relationship any further.
Anyway to paraphrase, Learn to stop worrying, and love the bomb
-Santo
HA! Let me just say that those two quotes Santo wrote - Vonnegut and the last one from Dr. Strangelove - rocked my world just now.
ReplyDeleteSecond, he's right. Now, I'm not one to talk because I'm completely neurotic sometimes and I have this huge need to be in control. Maybe that's your issue too...? It's not that you don't want to take risks, it's that you need to be in control at all times. This can hinder your ability to let someone else into your life, be it an intimate relationship or friendship.
Try not having to be in control. Don't just jump in though... maybe you could take baby step so it's not so overwhelming or discouraging. We can talk about strategies later.
<3
I think dating is hard regardless of your gender. It can also be easy if you want it to be. People can be manipulative whether they are male or female. I do not think manipulative behaviors prefer one gender over another.
ReplyDeletePeople strive for what they want and they use the tools they have to get them. If manipulation is a tool that has been successful in the past, it will continue to be used until it no longer works. Addicts are the best manipulators around and there are probably just as many male addicts as there are female addicts.
We allow others to behave in the manner in which we want them to behave. We do not control others, but we can surely create an environment for certain behaviors to flourish. If we think all men are such and such, or all women are such and such, then that is what we will see, because that is what we are looking for.
Some people think you have to see it before you can believe it, but that is not true. You have to believe it before you can see it. So I disagree with Vonnegut, I believe we find just what we are looking for.