Taking a chance on love… it sounds so sappy and gross, honestly. I mean, really? It’s just like “a leap of faith” or “falling in love is like falling”… stupid little catch phrases.
But, the thing is, these catch phrases ring true.
Last year I was in a relationship and I honestly thought, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we would get married. Then I dumped him…
Santo made an interesting comment to my last blog (and I’m sorry if I called you out for making a comment… I hope I didn’t just scare you away.) He said that I need to just take a chance and stop making it impossible for men to like me. Great observation, but I do flirt and I don’t push them all away. I’m open to new possibilities but I also have some things that I need in a relationship.
The problem with women like me is that they have little or no men in their life that they can really trust. I constantly question whether or not my dad loves me. If I tell him certain things, will he still love me? What about my step dad also? He has acted like my father for 10 years, however, he still thinks that I could be doing more… I’m not good enough. Another reason to not trust men.
I have three options:
1. Date men like my dad or step dad
2. Become a cat lady and never marry
3. Do a whole bunch of research and learn how to have my own love
I want to go with option three, but its hard work, I have to change my entire thinking. You see my dilemma?
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I suggest getting some therapy. I know this may sound scary, but you just admitted to having daddy issues. These can be solved by working them out with a professional.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin.
Good luck and as always, I'm here for you with any advice I can give. <3
Talking to trained professionals about a problem is never a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteI might also say: don't look too hard. You have many more options than the three presented above. But you cannot "will" those options into existence. You cannot control love. You don't find it, it usually finds you. And, when it finds you, you likely won't be in position to make a conscious decision. The decision will be made for you.
There are things you can do to help the decision arrive. Dating sites, etc. etc. And if you are having a problem consistently pushing people away, then you might want to revisit the possibility of talking to someone about this tendency. But you don't seem to think this is the case.
I have never met your parents, so I cannot speak to the validity of your feelings. I think we all wonder sometimes what the people in our lives think of us. I think we all wish people would be more open and supportive. Often times talking to them--telling them that you are feeling a bit insecure, might initiate dialogue. There is also the possibility that it won't.
I dont want to be a cat lady, maybe a dog lady has a nicer ring to it
ReplyDeleteHi, it's your mom. I believe in you. I know you will figure this out. I think Angela has a good idea and I will support you as you find your way. I know your feelings and impressions are real and deeply seated. I love you forever and always, but you already knew that...
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