Stop Fixing Everything

In accordance with some readers, I am well versed in the ways of “daddy problems.” And, they are right. You never get rid of them; once they exist they always exist.

But let me explain to you what happens to the common woman. (Notice I didn’t say the common woman with daddy problems)

I had a friend, let me call her Leslie. Leslie and I worked together and went to school together. She was a few years younger than I but a very smart, lively, fun and outgoing person.

She met a man online and she fell in love with him and after her graduation she was going to marry him. Her father was abusive, her mother left her when she was a small child, and her older brother used her; she needed to move out and marrying this man was her way out.

Leslie was incredibly excited and she and I would take regular trips to the mall to look for cheap wedding gowns that were her style. A year later, she got married.

I wish I could say that we still speak, but I would be lying.

She once had a facebook debate with me about politics. She claimed that Obama (the President) was a communist dictator and all of America is going to hell for electing such a terrible president. Natually, I assumed she was republican (which was different from when I knew her 2 years prior) but that wasn’t the case.

You see, her husband believes that all the presidents are against God and so she is against government, because government is against God.

The problem is that now she has changed so much that she is no longer the person she used to be. Happy and fun loving.

So, what’s the difference between she and I?

I still express who I am and I refuse to change for someone else as I refuse to try to change someone else.

Daddy problems are around and women will never admit to them… let them be and maybe they can be happier. There is nothing wrong with a woman who doesn’t trust a man because of the past they have, they are not broken… DON’T TRY TO FIX THEM.

A Whole New Level Of Sad

Taking a chance on love… it sounds so sappy and gross, honestly. I mean, really? It’s just like “a leap of faith” or “falling in love is like falling”… stupid little catch phrases.

But, the thing is, these catch phrases ring true.

Last year I was in a relationship and I honestly thought, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we would get married. Then I dumped him…

Santo made an interesting comment to my last blog (and I’m sorry if I called you out for making a comment… I hope I didn’t just scare you away.) He said that I need to just take a chance and stop making it impossible for men to like me. Great observation, but I do flirt and I don’t push them all away. I’m open to new possibilities but I also have some things that I need in a relationship.

The problem with women like me is that they have little or no men in their life that they can really trust. I constantly question whether or not my dad loves me. If I tell him certain things, will he still love me? What about my step dad also? He has acted like my father for 10 years, however, he still thinks that I could be doing more… I’m not good enough. Another reason to not trust men.

I have three options:
1. Date men like my dad or step dad
2. Become a cat lady and never marry
3. Do a whole bunch of research and learn how to have my own love

I want to go with option three, but its hard work, I have to change my entire thinking. You see my dilemma?

"Girl, You're Such A Backstabber and Everybody Knows"

New topic – new week – and I killed a man!!!

Nope…

A friend of mine told me I needed to take more risks. I need to just go out and do something crazy with no reflection on the outcome of the situation.

Do you know what I said in return?

“Unlike you, I have aspirations.”

He’s a great guy but I don’t want to get arrested. I mean… what if I do something illegal and then get arrested. That goes on my permanent record and then it would be impossible for me to find a job.

But jobs aside, why don’t I take risks? Why don’t I just get up one morning and go to the beach? Or go see a movie at midnight by myself? Or sneak into Bush Gardens (a friend of mine did that)?

I would like to blame the men in my life.

I’ve had so many bad experiences with men who love to manipulate women. Men who say they will do something then don’t.

Being in love is a huge risk, a leap of faith. But what do you have faith in? Nothing, it’s so nebulous. I have a group of friends who have a hard time finding true love. They might date, or they might not, but they are looking (not very diligently) for a soul mate or one true love.

They think I’m the expert in love and relationships because… well, I don’t really know why.

Maybe it’s because I read a lot of books and boys don’t usually scare me. (Unless, of course, they have “douche” written all over them… then I stay far far away.)

Honestly, I think I will talk about love this week.

What to look for?
What not to look for?
What does looking entail exactly?
Why do we have such high expectations?
Why is it so hard for girls in their early 20’s, who didn’t really date in high school or college because they were focusing on their studies, to get a simple date?

All of these questions will not be answered in the least, but I will talk about my experiences with all of these…

I hope you enjoy the next week, and please comment… I love comments!!!