In accordance with some readers, I am well versed in the ways of “daddy problems.” And, they are right. You never get rid of them; once they exist they always exist.
But let me explain to you what happens to the common woman. (Notice I didn’t say the common woman with daddy problems)
I had a friend, let me call her Leslie. Leslie and I worked together and went to school together. She was a few years younger than I but a very smart, lively, fun and outgoing person.
She met a man online and she fell in love with him and after her graduation she was going to marry him. Her father was abusive, her mother left her when she was a small child, and her older brother used her; she needed to move out and marrying this man was her way out.
Leslie was incredibly excited and she and I would take regular trips to the mall to look for cheap wedding gowns that were her style. A year later, she got married.
I wish I could say that we still speak, but I would be lying.
She once had a facebook debate with me about politics. She claimed that Obama (the President) was a communist dictator and all of America is going to hell for electing such a terrible president. Natually, I assumed she was republican (which was different from when I knew her 2 years prior) but that wasn’t the case.
You see, her husband believes that all the presidents are against God and so she is against government, because government is against God.
The problem is that now she has changed so much that she is no longer the person she used to be. Happy and fun loving.
So, what’s the difference between she and I?
I still express who I am and I refuse to change for someone else as I refuse to try to change someone else.
Daddy problems are around and women will never admit to them… let them be and maybe they can be happier. There is nothing wrong with a woman who doesn’t trust a man because of the past they have, they are not broken… DON’T TRY TO FIX THEM.
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Your example hints at the opposite of "don't try to fix them." Maybe if you're friend tried to fix her daddy problems, instead of ignoring them and so transferring them to a new lover, she wouldn't have lost herself in the process.
ReplyDeleteIf it's interfering with one's love life, my advice would be to deal with the issue itself, instead of trying to make excuses to why one doesn't trust men.
But that's just me. Everyone deals with their issues in different ways.
Very good point and good suggestion... The problem is that she will never admit to her daddy problems as it is unacceptable in today's society. It is generally looked down upon and can create turmoil for all parties involved.
ReplyDeleteFor example, it could be dealt with like PTSD (because that would be a disease it is akin to) but people don't see it that way. Maybe I should have put that in my post as well.